Animoe

Moe has gone completely 2-Dimoensional! This picture probably took the most amount of time to make and I may like it the least, but anyway it had to be done. This is the closest you are going to get to seeing the real image of Moe that I alter for each picture. I was asked why don't I show the unaltered original picture. Easy if you had access to the picture then you could just do my job better than me. Its like the light bulb industry. They could make light bulbs that last forever, but then you would only buy one instead of one a year. If I keep the demand high than I judge how much you will pay for my pictures. Hopefully in the future Moe will be famous and then I can be famous for making these pictures of him before he was famous. I think this picture makes Moe look like he is in the movie "A Scanner Darkly." One day I might try and make Moe a cartoon again; only this time it will be more of a crazy eyes popping out of sockets, tongue rolling on table cartoon Moe. Stay Tuned. Now that I have to make every picture for every post I am going to attempt to post a new picture every other day. If anyone is out there, "I will do my best."

G.I. Moe

"Kind of remind ya of Bastogne?" "Yeah, now that you mention it... Except, of course, there's no snow, we got warm grub in our bellies, and the trees aren't f-in' exploding from Kraut artillery, but yeah... Frank... other than that, it's a lot like Bastogne." Nothing like a Battle of the Bulge reference to get your blood pumping in the morning. I really like this picture, and am glad at how his rough manly rugged face came out. For those of you who are playing the home edition, special prize for the person who first writes a comment saying what picture I used as a reference for this. (other than those who already know, lets not ruin it for the others) I actually used the identical colors from that picture for his uniform and helmet, so it has a bit of authenticity.. kinda. I wanted to put a picture of Kristen or something else in the outside netting of his helmet, but I couldn't get it work out right and that was more of a Vietnam thing anyway. Moe looks so tough, no one is going to have to save this Pvt. Ryan. (lets laughter at pop culture reference that applies here fade) It is fitting to have an American post for today because it is George Washington's 275th birthday. Oh you didn't know that. Well now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I. Moe...

Leonarmoe

Cowabunga dude! I realize that this picture is more of Moe in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume than actually Leonardo. In preschool I was actually Leonardo for Halloween even though I wanted to be Michelangelo. Quick Wikipedia fact: "Leonardo's swords are called katana, but they are actually straight-bladed variants of the katana known as ninjatō. He carries two of them, both of the same size and strapped to his back; all of these customs are virtually unheard of traditionally." Who would have thought that a cartoon in 1987 would have inaccuracies in Samurai traditions? Moe has parts of all four Ninja Turtles in him. He is like Leonardo because he is serious about being a do-gooder and likes to stay in his room meditating while we go out partying. He is like Donatello in his adeptness with machines (computers) and his affinity for the color purple. Also like the real Donatello he is questionably famous. If you have seen Moe play sports, especially in his glory days, you have seen his Raphael side. He can be very emotional and aggressive, but has a deeper realization that he is just a mutated turtle in a world filled with humans. Michelangelo is probably the least like Moe, although in Captain Awesome II Moe can be seen using nunchaku. I dedicate today's blog to Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, and Mirage Studios for giving me Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I do not know where I would be without them. Honestly..

Vive la Moe!

Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité. "Moe are you a supporter of the French?" This question posed by my Latin teacher four years ago has finally come into fruition. I tried to jam as many french stereotypes into this picture as possible, and short of having Moe retreat I believe I did pretty well. The beret, baguette, red scarf around his neck, white and black striped shirt, little mustache and goatee, the Eiffel Tower in the background complete with french flag and of course a fag hanging out of his mouth. I am quite happy with how this picture turned out, the past two have been my favorite (and I believe best) to date and "Honi soit qui mal y pense". Hopefully this level of artistic greatness will follow in upcoming posts. As much as I hate the french I was compelled to draw Moe in this fashion. If you don't realize it French Moe is actually rolling his eyes at you and secretly hating you for being American. How soon he forgets what Grandpa Moe did in saving his sorry country's arse in World War Deux. Hm.. I do enjoy french fries though.. Well.. Et voilà!

Rubba Dub Moe

It has been a stressful week for Moe. He has entertained you as a clown, shared old war stories as a senior citizen, sat on your lap as a kitty, been the manliest of men as a cowboy and the girliest of men as an ambassador of "deep diary-like outpourings of emotion." He needs some time to relax in his bubble bath, while keeping sure to not get his hair wet (it might ruin the curls). Of course his ducky Alfred joins him and... he is fully naked. (Waiting for the mental picture... waiting..) "Gross." (There it is.) I am very happy about how this picture turned out, it is the first picture of the new area--meaning the first picture I drew after I already started the blog. This also means that posts will start coming less frequently "boo boo" I know, but it is because I do not have anymore pictures up my sleeve and they will all have to be made to suit. I am away this weekend so there will not be any posts, but please take this time to read over the old post and laugh again. Also you might want to comment on some of them. You need not be a google member to post, merely click other under choose an identity. It will make me feel good and motivate me to make more Moes if you send me cyber pats on the back. Also if you have any suggestions for new faces of Moe please leave them in a comment as well. Now that that is all said and done, just fall back into the warmth of a nice bubble bathness picture of Moe.

Emoe

"Cut my wrist to paint your favorite color flower. Red red rose." These are lyrics from Moe's indie/emo band heartonmysleeve. That is why Emoe has the word "heart" actually tattooed on his shoulder/sleeve. If you squint hard enough you can actually envision Moe as this love sappy emotional boy-toy who saves his tears in a bottle to give to his girlfriend one day. "I eat emo pansies for breakfast. And give their little t-shirts to my little sister." You may not be able to see from this angle, but Moe has actually painted jeans onto his legs. You cannot get tighter pants than that. Triple Scene Points!! Eyeliner, check. Dumb tattoo with stars, check. Gauged ear, check. Lip ring, check. Jet black hair, check. Lack of personality, check. Alright I think we got it all here. The only thing missing I guess would be screaming "music" being played in the background. "I want to be different just like everyone else." Well put Emoe, well put.

Marlboro Moe

"Come to where the flavor is, come to Moe country." As Mr. Einstein, my high school history teacher, would say: Moe is an excellent example of the rugged individualism that made our country what it is today. He is no sissy boy wearing chaps without the huevos to back it up, no he is a manly man. "Girls don't break up with him, he breaks up with them!" If its hot wings, cowboy Moe is eating them diablo style. If it is boxing, Moe does it bare knuckle. If horses had license plates his would be 2MAN4U or NWV-97T if they didn't have customizable plates. The cigarette hanging out of his lips should fall because of gravity, but it stays there because of fear. The stripe on his hat used to be all red, but he started putting black lines for every animal he killed with his bare hands. His bandana used to be black, but he needed something to clean his hands with. Don't mess with Texas.

Moeowww

I apologize, it started out as a good idea but turned into what lies above. On the more recent pictures I usually fool around in paint trying to figure out how I am going to make the picture work or what features I will use. So I made Moe with this cat mouth and whiskers, and then used some orange around the place. Everything was going great and I went to make the official picture. I tried to turn M*A*S*H into Saving Private Ryan. Cat hair everywhere, crazy eyes, and forehead lines. Needless to say the "Moe Farm Animal Series" will not be hitting the shelves for quite some time. Hm.. maybe I should have given him a tail..? It scary to even start to fathom Moe as cat. Trying to sit on your lap all the time. Licking himself to take a bath. Scratching up the furniture. Needing you attention at all times. Always wanting to be fed and petted. Never giving you any space in the room. Smelling up the room. Always being around. Playing video games into the middle of night. Watching every move I make. I can't take it anymore...... um.. I am sorry for that. It.. uh would be pretty hard to imagine that huh..? Because.. uh.. none of that is true or is any feelings that I have.. ever..

Don't tell Moe.

Granpa Moe

"What the hell are you kid's doing here? Go smoke your blogs somewhere else!" This painting started out with the righteous Mark Twain mustache, but then gently evolved into an old man. "Why are you still in front of me? I've choked bigger men than you!" The little glasses were a nice and spontaneous touch that only took me one try to get. "Are you sick or something? What do you have dropsy? The grip? Scrofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic boo bow? The staggers? Dum dum fever?" I was hesitant in making his shirt white because of his hair being all white, but I couldn't think of another color that old people would wear. "Back in my day we didn't have shirts. We had to use tree leaves and walk through the snow up hill both ways to school. Yea.. back then we didn't even have feet. You don't know have lucky you have it with your iNannys and Xstation twos." I also tried to manipulate the face by putting some wrinkles in. It makes him look like he is kind of smiling. "I'll be smiling when you get the heck off my lawn you whippersnappers." Moe as an old man will be fun. It will be interesting to see those curly fries turn gray. "Let me tell you a story about the time I saved Dwight David Eisenhower from being beaten to death by Rocky Marciano in a bar fight in the Philippines. Ol' Ike had picked the fight when Rocky tried to steal MacArthur's pipe right out of his mouth. Luckily I jumped in and gave him the old one-two on his chin to shut 'em up. Then Howard Hughes flew us all to Rick's club in Morocco where we drank gin until Doug Mac put.." The blog is over old man. "Err.. What? ahh get out here, who asked you anyway..?"

Moezo the Clown

Send in the clowns. This is a great picture to point out to you the many difficulties that I run across trying to make this particular Moe picture into a masterpiece day after day. First difficulty: Moe's is not facing completely forward. You may notice that you can only see one of his ears. This makes it so that nothing can be put on his face directly straight. In this picture his mouth is painted on forward, but I can't completely pull it off. Second difficulty: his enormous tumbleweed of a hair-fro. In many pictures I have to create some vast hair-hat-extravaganza to cover every curly lock. I am just grateful he got his hair cut before the picture was taken; a la Geoffrey pictures for those of you who know that. Third difficulty: limited space. I only have very limited space to work with on each side of his dome and none above and then barely any space below his chin. In this picture I have his hat off to the side. I did what I could with his clothing, but imagine the clown-moe juggling chainsaws that are on fire, while riding a unicycle off a ramp over a kiddie pool filled with alligators with flame-throwers attached to their backs. See, if only I had more room... but then again that would be a great deal more to draw. Alas I will carry on with the good fight and stretch my creativity to its breaking point.

Billy Ray Cletus Moe III

Moe can't stand this picture because of the teeth and probably because it brings back bad memories of the Moellet. Here starts the new pictures that I made only a few weeks ago. If white trash threw out trash in a white garbage bag that would barely be close to the white-trashiness of Billy Ray Cletus Moe III. I apologize for the teeth and plaque and gruesomeness of his hair, but they don't call it the Dirty South for nothing. Business casual in the front, but there is a party in the back. You have to give him credit for having the same color and consistency from the tip of the Wisconsin Water Flap to the mutton-chops to the eyebrows and bangs. I have him wearing a neon green and pink shirt: he hasn't changed his hair from the 80s, why change his shirt? You may have not noticed but today marks the 1 week anniversary of "The Many Faces of Moe." Few thought we would make it this far, but look at us now. Over the past week we have had some very gracious reviews written about us, here are some of the crème de la crème:

• "It's about me!?!" -Ryan Matteucci
• "It almost doesn't stink that bad." -Guy down the hall
• "What did you want me to say again?" -Dolph Lundgren
• "Let's be honest Dan. You don't have a blog. It's all in your imagination." -Dave
• "If blogs were cheese, you'd be Munster!" -Sweaty-back from High School gym class

There were many more, but it's only a half hour show. Thank you all for celebrating this anniversary with me, hopefully we can all be back here a week from now.

Moebot

"I am not a robot." You may have heard Moe say this quote around campus. I am here to tell you it is a crock. He is a robot! ..well a cyborg.. so close enough. Truth is Moe has been a cyborg since the 9th grade. Those who knew Moe just chalked it up to him finally entering into puberty, but really his entire skeletal structure was removed and replaced with titanium. Just the other day I came back from class early and found Moe drinking a can of oil. This picture is not how he actually looks in full cyborg mode, though it is close. The concept for his gear came from a combination of WWII Russian helmet, the movie Universal Soldier starring Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme and Math Blaster. The white lines in the background give a futuristic look at what ID Card backgrounds will one day look like. The electronics on the right side of his suit regulate the amount of sex appeal that he gives off at any one time. The green lights will begin to turn red if his suave reaches levels at which women cannot cope. It is my job as his roommate to make sure that he remains the tame lovable Moe that we all know and so that he doesn't turn into a girl swooning monster machine. No need to thank me, it is a labor of love.

Count Moecula

The best part about this picture has to be the moon. I bet you saw it and thought that I copied and pasted it from a real picture of the moon, but you have to believe that I drew it. I chose to use Moe's crazy eyes for this pic. Do not stare directly into them or Moe will steal your sense of security. There is a cool attachment to this picture. To see Moe in bat form turn around three times while chanting "Moe as a bat, what do you think of that.." (Laughs at you). I made his shirt/cloak/draculaware come to a diagonal point in order to showcase Moe's massive adam's apple. If nothing else about this picture scares you; just look there. Legend has it that in his adam's apple there are little bearded men lifting massive weights while drinking beer from a keg next to women in bikinis which are holding 12 gauge shotguns. Impressed? Moe is a manly man.

A Pirate's Life for Moe

"Yo Ho Yo Ho..." Moe hates this photo because of the teeth and mouth. What can I say, not everything is going to work. What is done is buck. This was the first time I really experimented with a completely drawn background. I only actually finished it up today before I was going to post this. The face, however has been done for a year. The skull and crossbones on the hat took me try after try to actually get something that remotely looked like a skull and bones and not a white fire. As you may know or can easily see, I am not really an artist. However I am proud of how the shirt came out.. Now that is something that a pirate would definitely wear. I believe for this picture I chopped off some of Moe's hair with the eraser tool. This is something that I will definitely have to try out more in the future, because that is a great deal of hair. When Moe dressed up like a pirate for me to paint him he had a steering wheel attached on his crotch. I asked him what the heck it was and he replied, "Arrr, it's driving me nuts." ...I will leave you with that.

Life Aquatic with Ryan Matteucci

"I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite." This is the only drawing that I am sure I did with Photoshop; you can tell this because the picture is tinted blue: near impossible to do with Paint. I enjoy the bubbles in this photo although the fish leave something to be desired. Mind you these are still the very early pictures that I did over a year ago... sitting at my desk in Kea looking out my big window at the parking lot. You can imagine yourself as a rare breed of sparkle-fish if you want, and Moe just discovered you (though he does not seem to be thrilled). With a little imagination this is an interactive blog; now if you are still imagining yourself as that sparkle-fish, close your eyes and I will have my people come and dump a bucket of water over your head to enhance your experience to the level of 4D. That's right, who else would give you that amount of personal care to fulfill you innermost imaginary ambitions? That's what we do here, we put forth the extra effort. We are overachievers...

Mean Moe Green

Moe with an afro.. genius. I started this drawing as usual - with facial hair. This time a burly mustache. The hard part about making these pictures is finding a way to cover Moe's over efficient hair puff. This time was easy because I merely covered his fro with another fro. If you are wondering 71 is an arbitrary number and I am not sure what position he would even play. I tried to go with an old Eagles uniform, because in my opinion they are much cooler than the new ones. I love how with different facial hair and outfits the same grin on Moe's face can turn into a smile, snicker, frown, or puckering "I'mma gonna kiss you" face. He is like the Mona Lisa. And yes Moe does use an afro pick.

Professor Moe

This was the second drawing that I did of Moe and it is probably still one of my very favorite pictures. I especially love the smoke coming from the pipe and the sweet beard that Moe is sporting. Most of my drawings start out with some sort of facial hair and I admit this is because I long to grow a mustache or beard. Moe and I always joke that this character would have a very scholarly voice and say phrases and sentences that we would not understand. Professor Moe's favorite quote though has to be, "Indubitably."

Ms. Moe

This is what started it all. Moe used my computer to access his Eastern account which has a picture that is used for our ID cards and teacher's class lists. His password was accidently saved on my computer and I saved his bio-photo to my computer. Thus started the "Many Faces of Moe." This picture is probably the most famous to date because it was featured in the 2006 white elephant gift exchange in a flower watering can picture frame. The frame and picture currently reside on the top of Kevin Costello's big screen tv in the basement of his Erial home.